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Euro English


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Post Tue May 11, 2004 11:04 pm

Euro English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20 percent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the fourth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing th"with
"z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze world!!!

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Post Tue May 11, 2004 11:35 pm

Brilliant Steve :lol: :lol: Made me laugh out loud.

Actually, me and a pal have a joke going about a German version of Alan Partridge - every time we meet up we throw our arms in the air and greet each other with the words "Ach Ja!!" (ah ha).

.. :oops: :oops: (one of those jokes where you've got to be there I guess :oops: )

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Post Tue May 11, 2004 11:53 pm


so true ...

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Post Wed May 12, 2004 10:58 am


That was brilliant!
(hot) (hot) (hot)

You've lightened up my day!


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Post Wed May 12, 2004 2:20 pm

Brilliant!!! :D

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Post Wed May 12, 2004 4:24 pm

as i cant handel our present English changing it wont be a problem and as we speek there is posibly a number of civil servents trying to see if it could be done :wink:


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Post Wed May 12, 2004 5:17 pm

ah ve haf vayz

magic love it.

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Post Thu May 13, 2004 2:17 pm

Really funny!!

But it looked like Roberts spelling........ :-?

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