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The true meaning of words in the Sign Industry...

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Post Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:08 pm

The true meaning of words in the Sign Industry...

Apparently...


"Money isn`t an issue"

Really means:
I only want to spend £150!


"Please check the artwork for errors or omissions"

Really means:
Just look at the pictures!


FFS (:)
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Post Fri Apr 04, 2014 7:07 pm

"Its not a rush job, don't need it for a few weeks"

Really means:
I need that sign yesterday!
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Post Sat Apr 05, 2014 11:16 am

''We're doing a cheque run at the end of this week, you'll be on that''

Really means:
Exactly the opposite!
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Post Sat Apr 05, 2014 11:08 pm

Give me your best price on this van and there will be 10 more to follow

Really means:
I only have this one vehicle and I am going to scam you out of a profit! Mwahahahahhhh
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Post Sun Apr 06, 2014 12:19 am

"i don't really want to spend too much getting my van done coz my mate can do it for £100"

Really means:
Your such a freeloading p*ss taker that your mate can't stand the site of you, so you've had to come to me!
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:36 am

Design Agency:
Our Artworkers will have all the files up loaded to the FTP by 9am monday morning, the artwork is ready to go...

Translated :
The work experience guys will have a collection of ad hoc files made up of every colour system you can think of, dumped in a folder, without fonts outlined or included by 5pm Friday. All the files will be ready for you to use your crystal ball for dimensions and magic print button on your keyboard !

:o
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:55 am

"I really like the chiselled gold leaf raised letter sample"

Really:
Corriboard sign will do for my shop front!!! And by the way, it should
look fantastic & last forever!
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 11:02 am

Yes Boss, i'll work past 5pm and get that sign finished!!

Really means:

AYE RIGHT!!!! :D
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 12:12 pm

Please let me know as soon as the proforma has been paid so it doesn`t delay production

Really means:
ring Monday asking when the sign will be done and by the way I paid Thursday.......
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 1:14 pm

I need these leaflets today!

Really means:
Print them today before everything else and I will collect them some time next week when it suits me.
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:32 pm

Thanks for the quote it looks acceptable, will confirm in a few days

Means: I'm going to quickly show it to other companies and see if they will do it cheaper
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:40 pm

wow, only just starting out and ive heard a lot of these all ready! better get used to it then :roll:
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:18 pm

What's the absolute best price you can do?

Really means:
Whatever you quote, I'm still going to ask for a discount.
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:44 pm

I like to do business with other local businesses -

Means I'm doing you a huge favour so make it cheap..
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:48 pm

Whilst lettering a customers vehicle...

"You have spelled that wrong mate!"

Really means:
I believe I am the next Lee Evans.
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Post Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:25 pm

"We have just bought a cheap cutter from ebay, could you show us how it works?"

Reply:
When I finish my Chinese instruction manual PhD's I will be right over, get the saki oot!
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Post Tue Apr 08, 2014 1:13 am

my sister/wife/brother is a graphic designer they'll send you the file ready to print

Be prepared to be 'amazed' by some of the lowest resolution, misspelt, garish artwork to ever grace a PowerPoint document.
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Post Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:38 pm

'I wonder if you could come and give my machine a quick service'

Really means:
I won it on eBay for £48.57 and it's riddled with faults. As soon as you go near it with a screwdriver, everything will spontaneously and spectacularly fail!! :roll: :lol1: :lol1:
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Post Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:54 pm

It's a single colour print on the front of the t shirt.

Really means, the images are full colour, you want them printed on the front, rear and both sleeves.

And it's not a t shirt but a polo shirt...... People think we make these up lol
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Post Tue Apr 08, 2014 11:24 pm

'It will of course be delivered tomorrow, says Next Day Delivery on the website doesn't it?'

Really means, the 3 Great Mysteries of Life
1. Who Are We?
2. Why Are We Here?
3. Where The F*** Is The Courier?
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Post Wed Apr 09, 2014 12:01 pm

Yesterday i had a guy in who has been flitting in and out of my life since before christmas. I showed him the latest ideas and he said "i want it not yellow, not lemon not gold….. you know the colour". He got quite frustrated that even with all this detailed information that he had provided that i didn't have a clue.
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Post Wed Apr 09, 2014 12:06 pm

Mustard?
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Post Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:51 pm

"yes, the artwork is all ready for our menu's, you just need to print them, I'll send it over in a minute"

really means, "I'll send it to you about 30minutes before we're due to open, then you can spend the next 4hours copying & pasting our menu content from a word doc into your software and laying it all out with non pixelated imaged for the original quote of the menu's"

No, you won't, ( oh i swore ) off (:) (:)

what is it with customers this week?

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