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Topic in house keeping monthly 1955.

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Post Wed May 12, 2004 8:19 am

Topic in house keeping monthly 1955.

This was taken from the May 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly and is entitled The Good Wife's Guide

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish!) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people!
Be a little gay and a little more interesting to him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.
Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too! After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize the noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing, and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and, as such, will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO QUESTION HIM.
A GOOD WIFE ALWAYS KNOWS HER PLACE!!
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 11:04 am

Hey Mort


Let us know when you have "shared" this with your better half. Then renew your photo - one that shows the bruises :P

Cheers

Alan
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 2:29 pm

Shes's read it and understands it honest :)
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 7:52 pm

nice one mort!! :D :D

that has the word "TUBE" written all over it!! :P

yes thats what i'd certainly be if i actually did what it says!! :P

never!! :D :D


nik
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 8:30 pm

and then run a dust cloth over the tables.


Tried to explain this part to the missus :o

Bad Idea :lol: :lol:

Kev
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 8:36 pm

that has the word "TUBE" written all over it!!


He i was educated for 14 years at that horrible place in the finer arts of husbandry :lol:
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 9:30 pm

*rofl*

More like slavery than wife!!! To think that was only 50ish years ago! :o

I dont have many domestic little woman genes in me!!!! Stephen has more than me .......!!!! I would have been stuck on the shelf back in those days what with my lack of cooking skills, obedience, shyness and no ribbon in my hair!!! My many other talents would not have been appreciated in that society :lol:
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 9:59 pm

I was raised in a household much like the one described,
and I still turned out with "issues"!
Gee I wonder why. (I blame it on the Nuns at school)
Actually I am quite domesticated and was always a good little wife.
I never wore a ribbon in my hair tho.
One thing I would never put up with is that part about if Hubby was out all night....I'd smack him in the butt with my #10 cast-iron skillet!
Love...Jill
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 10:32 pm

It's quite amusing.... I especially liked the part which says,

Be a little gay and a little more interesting to him.

Is that the part where you act out his fantasy and invite you best friend over!!!!! :D :D :D :wink:

hee hee

Marcella
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 11:03 pm

Be a little gay and a little more interesting to him.


I bow to your greater experience Marcella :wink:

I think in this PC world we live in it should read 'Be a little Lesbanian and a little more interesting to him!'

That's the trouble with this internet lark..................corrupts us youngsters minds! :lol:
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 11:17 pm

Well Mr Mort - I have printed off your advice leaflet and have left it lying about handy for Alison to stumble across - In the expectation she will read, digest and be illuminated by your excelllent article. :D

The good old days ... lets bring them back and have the man of the house truly respected and pampered by his faithfull wife and family. I am trying to encourage good old fashioned values in my own family and was enlightened by your post. I didn't realise there were other like minded people out there. Well done for contributing such an excellent piece of advice and for reminding us all that a womens place is in the home, and the man is truly the head of the houshold to be revered and respected.

God bless you my son :D
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Post Wed May 12, 2004 11:18 pm

Marcella,
I am sure all the guys on this site have their heads swimming with visuals now!
hahaha.....good one. :lol:
love Jill
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Post Thu May 13, 2004 1:09 am

No no, not at all :wink: I was going to show Mrs Dewi, but I value certain parts of my anatomy too much to risk it :roll:

Cheers, Dewi
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Post Thu May 13, 2004 8:05 am

Glad you all like it and respect the wise words of wisdom that they used to teach :lol:

Apparently the article was written by a women too :o
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Post Thu May 13, 2004 2:13 pm

(:) A woman wrote it.........????? I bet she had facial hair and her name was Bill...........

Try finding a woman who would attempt to write something like that nowadays.
I suppose men have to find something that makes them feel like the superior sex! Dream on boys!!!!

You're right Jill, I bet they had good visuals..... shall we set up the webcams...?!!!!! :o :o :o

Marcella
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Post Thu May 13, 2004 2:58 pm

:wink:
Webcams?
#1 They couldn't handle it!
#2 Their wives would KILL them
#3 I don't have a webcam!
:oops: Love...Jill
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Post Thu May 13, 2004 3:01 pm

Yes Please :wink:
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Post Thu May 13, 2004 3:06 pm

I printed this wonderful document and left it in a convenient place for my live-in-sin woman to peruse. She said that she would have a look after she had ironed my shirts and before making my dinner.
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Post Thu May 13, 2004 3:09 pm

I think we'll just have to leave it to their imagination then Jill!

Marcella
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Post Thu May 13, 2004 5:20 pm

you could always post pics done in paint and vinyl, or pvc and leather or satin and lace or...
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 7:43 am

Ok here u go ladies a bit of payback for you.....

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys watching a football game.

What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.

Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

female says to male,I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

Why are vibrators better than men?
Because they never screw other women, never come in drunk, and you don't have to do their laundry.


How are men and batteries different?
Batteries have a positive side

:roll: :roll: :roll:
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 8:38 am

:D :D :D :D

The funny thing is Mort, they're not jokes.... they're facts!
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 9:18 am

Marcella, now you know ithat's not nice. Although I suppose it's to be expected coming from a place where the men wear skirts and the women wear the troosers (sorry Rob):lol: , but whilst we are on the subject.....

Adam said he was feeling lonely and asked God for company.
"I was thinking of creating a woman for you," said God.
"What is a woman?" asked Adam.
"Similar to a man, only curvier," said God, "and also sweet, caring and loving and at your beck and call. She will be an inspiration to you."
"Sounds good," said Adam, "how much will that cost?"
"An arm and a leg," said God.
"oh ...... What could I get for a rib?" asked Adam.
......The rest is history
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 12:59 pm

For Mort et al

Jokes about women:

Whats the difference between a battery and a woman?
A bettery has a positive side

Why do men ( PARDON ME ) more than women?
Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure!

and finally...

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front
door, who do you let in first?
The dog, at least it'll shut up after you let it in

(In the interest of domestic bliss I would like to point out the the jokes
shared here in no way represent the views of the management...
She doesn't know I've posted then :cool: )
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 1:06 pm

Can't resist... just one more:

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no
one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They
don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT.

They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before
they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't
be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've
been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light
bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two
rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE
CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?!
BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!
IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF
GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE
HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

I'm sorry...what did you ask me?
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 4:19 pm

:lol:

the funny thing is it's true .......

/me runs
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 7:33 pm

As everyone else is having fun on this subject :lol: :lol: :lol:

Its an old one but still a good un

The differences between Man and Women showering...

How To Shower Like A Woman...
* Take off clothing and place it in sectional laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long bathrobe. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
* Get in shower. Look for face-cloth, arm-cloth, leg-cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
* Wash you hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
* Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
* Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on for 15 minutes.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red and raw.
* Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
* Rinse conditioner off of hair (this takes at least 15 minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off).
* Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
* Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
* Turn off shower.
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces inn the shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
* Get out of the shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country.
* Wrap hair in super-absorbent second towel.
* Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
* Return to bedroom wearing bathrobe and towel on head.
* If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and then rush to the bedroom to spend an hour-and-a-half getting dressed.

How To Shower Like A Man...
* Take off clothes while sitting in the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the "woo, woo" sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut. Check to see if you have pecs. Find out you don't have pecs. Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your balls.
* Get in shower. Don't bother looking for a washcloth. You don't use one.
* Wash your face.
* Wash your armpits.
* Crack up at how loud your ( PARDON ME ) sounds in the shower.
* Wash your privates and surrounding area.
* Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar.
* Shampoo your hair. Do not use conditioner.
* Make a hilarious shampoo Mohawk.
* Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
* Pee (in the shower).
* Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub when you checked your Mohawk.
* Partially dry off.
* Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size. Leave shower curtain open and wet mat on the floor.
* Leave on the bathroom light, fan and as many taps as deemed appropriate.
* Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your b***s, shout "Oh yeah, baby!" and thrust your pelvis at her.
* Throw wet towel on the bed. Take two minutes to get dressed
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 7:40 pm

Ok just found this one and i'm ready to emigrate.....

:lol:
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 9:22 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Nice one Kev :D You do the hilarious Mohawk thing as well then? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Cheers, Dewi
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 9:45 pm

Brilliant Kev, that made me laugh out loud! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Every last word is soooooooo true. I have a dozen different types of shampoo/conditioner/face scrub/facial soap/body soap/foot scrub etc etc etc you name it, it's there...and my other half has one shower gel that does the lot!
One fair point though........why do men always feel the need to wave their 'bits' in your face as they walk past.......... and laugh while they do it???? :-? :roll:


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Post Fri May 14, 2004 10:01 pm

Dewi No shower is complete without a fancy hairdo.. :P :P :P


One fair point though........why do men always feel the need to wave their 'bits' in your face as they walk past.......... and laugh while they do it????


Marcella we dont really or do we :o
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 10:32 pm

why do men always feel the need to wave their 'bits' in your face as they walk past.......... and laugh while they do it???? :-? :roll:



It's a MAN thing, you wouldn't understand :o

Oooooh I think I shall go and have a shower...........


........now where is the missus :-?



I wish i could do the mohawk thing :roll:
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Post Fri May 14, 2004 11:15 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Nice one, so true ....... Im always in the shower for aggggggges, most blokes I know are: in, out, shake & done!!!! :lol:

Carrie :D
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Post Mon May 17, 2004 7:46 am

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd really love
to be ten again" she replied
wistfully.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, got up, made her a nice
big bowl of Frosties and then took her off to their local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the
Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there
was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to
a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with
extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then it was off to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster, complete
with a hot-dog, popcorn, a big fizzy drink, and a huge bag of M&M's,
her favourite sweets. What a time she had! Finally she wobbled home
with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his
precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, Darling, what
was it like being ten again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "You
idiot", she replied. "I meant my dress size..."

And the moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's still
going to get it wrong
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Post Mon May 17, 2004 11:14 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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