Mon Mar 15, 2004 11:54 pm
Sales Prevention Officer
My wife often laughs and calls me the "Sales Prevention Officer" because of my off-handed and cynical dealings with many enquiries... I was particularly on form today:- 
Customer no. 1 was a biker who wanted to know if I could do some Celtic designs to go on his trike. I explained that as I was not a graphic artist unless he had something I could copy then I could not help him. He said he could provide a tattoo which I could scan .....(I hoped it wasn't on his *rse ) so I offered him some prices to scan and reproduce a tatoo and print some stickers.... Either my prices were too high, or my abrasive attitude was too much for him but he left without giving me the order 
Customer no. 2 was a boy racer in his Corsa complete with spotty youthful sidekick and brainless girlfriend. He began by saying he wanted 60 or so car stickers but would initially only need 2 or 3 and could I show him some examples of what I could do for him. Well...given that I tend to have an intense dislike for spotty youths and their noisy cars/girlfriends I declined from being too helpful. Eventually I got out of him that he wanted some lettering to put on his car - roughly this size (and he held his hands out) by that size (and he held his hands out again) . I took out my calculator - punched in some numbers and declared that I could supply him with some pre-spaced lettering, roughly "this size by that size" for £7.11 + VAT each.
Hmm...I'll have to think about it (he said) and off he went to pester someone else
Customer no. 3 was a chap wanting "A Professional Job" done on his transit pickup. Yes I'm a professional signmaker (I informed him - Hackles raised) and offered up some ball park figures to do the job. That's far to expensive he says - so I gave him his business card back and explained that In that case I could not help him. He then began haggling asking me to supply pre-spaced lettering for him to fit himself. Well - I had been about to go out to visit a client when he first turned up - and by now I was running late for my appointment, so finally I snapped and told him in my best Basil Fawlty voice that "to be perfectly blunt he was wasting my time and holding me back from my appointment". I almost had to bundle him out of the door in order to be able to get on and do my work.
I work from a small industrial unit in an industrial estate so do not get many time wasters - most of my customers are other small businesses who respect my time and efforts required in the creation of artwork for their signs. Their expectations are realistic and they are prepared to pay a reasonable rate for their signs.
I just wondered what methods others use to give suspect customers the polite (and sometimes not so polite) brush off.
Customer no. 1 was a biker who wanted to know if I could do some Celtic designs to go on his trike. I explained that as I was not a graphic artist unless he had something I could copy then I could not help him. He said he could provide a tattoo which I could scan .....(I hoped it wasn't on his *rse
) so I offered him some prices to scan and reproduce a tatoo and print some stickers.... Either my prices were too high, or my abrasive attitude was too much for him but he left without giving me the order
Customer no. 2 was a boy racer in his Corsa complete with spotty youthful sidekick and brainless girlfriend. He began by saying he wanted 60 or so car stickers but would initially only need 2 or 3 and could I show him some examples of what I could do for him. Well...given that I tend to have an intense dislike for spotty youths and their noisy cars/girlfriends I declined from being too helpful. Eventually I got out of him that he wanted some lettering to put on his car - roughly this size (and he held his hands out) by that size (and he held his hands out again)
. I took out my calculator - punched in some numbers and declared that I could supply him with some pre-spaced lettering, roughly "this size by that size" for £7.11 + VAT each.
Hmm...I'll have to think about it (he said) and off he went to pester someone else
Customer no. 3 was a chap wanting "A Professional Job" done on his transit pickup. Yes I'm a professional signmaker (I informed him - Hackles raised) and offered up some ball park figures to do the job. That's far to expensive he says - so I gave him his business card back and explained that In that case I could not help him. He then began haggling asking me to supply pre-spaced lettering for him to fit himself. Well - I had been about to go out to visit a client when he first turned up - and by now I was running late for my appointment, so finally I snapped and told him in my best Basil Fawlty voice that "to be perfectly blunt he was wasting my time and holding me back from my appointment". I almost had to bundle him out of the door in order to be able to get on and do my work.
I work from a small industrial unit in an industrial estate so do not get many time wasters - most of my customers are other small businesses who respect my time and efforts required in the creation of artwork for their signs. Their expectations are realistic and they are prepared to pay a reasonable rate for their signs.
I just wondered what methods others use to give suspect customers the polite (and sometimes not so polite) brush off.
And if they don't fancy ordering, its Nokia time again :lol:
