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Did you hear about ....

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Shane Drew

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Post Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:07 am

Did you hear about ....

the dyslexic drunk that walked into a bra :o :P
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Paul Cox

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Post Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:31 pm

What about the dyslexic pimp that bought a Warehouse?
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Shane Drew

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Post Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:36 pm

Cokka wrote:What about the dyslexic pimp that bought a Warehouse?


:lol1: :lol1:
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Hugh Potter

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Post Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:04 pm

what about the dixlescyc devil worshipper whod given up on dog and sold his soul to santa.
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Jason Bagladi

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Post Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:56 pm

the dyslexic drunk that choked on his own vimto
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George Elsmore

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Post Thu Dec 08, 2005 4:07 pm

Did you here about the man who's an Agnostic, Dyslexic Insomniac?
He lies in bed all night wondering if there's a dog.
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John Childs

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Post Thu Dec 08, 2005 10:49 pm

How many dyslexics does it take to change a light blub?
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Marcella Ross

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:39 am

John Childs wrote:How many dyslexics does it take to change a light blub?


dare I ask?
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Phill Fenton

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:44 am

I've got one :D

Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Ans. Only one ....but the light bulb has to really want to change :-?
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Robert Lambie

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:48 am

heres one....


a guy walks into a pub....

broke his nose. :-?
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Andrew Boyle

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:50 am

How many dyslexics does it take to change a light blub?


They all can (?)
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Robert Lambie

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:55 am

dumb & dumber are in the bath, dummer farts... dumb drowns himself trying to smell it. :-?

bill & ben in the bath, bill farts... ben says two o'clock mate.


:-? ok ok im going.... chill.. :-?
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John Singh

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:56 am

heres one....


a guy walks into a pub....

broke his nose.


a guy walks into a bar
He says 'Ouch!'
It was an iron bar
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Robert Lambie

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:59 am

four sliced sausages are sitting up a tree playing cards.....

a fried egg goes by on a mountain bike.

one of the sausages shouts, "hoy... egg!... wanna game of cards mate?"

the fried egg continues, but shouts back... "ide love to guys, but im going to get my hair cut"


:lol1: :lol1: :lol1:


:o wot now?


.
<<

Andrew Boyle

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:59 am

The Island is telling me it's time for sleep....
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Nicola McIntosh

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:02 am

Robert Lambie wrote:four sliced sausages are sitting up a tree playing cards.....

a fried egg goes by on a mountain bike.

one of the sausages shouts, "hoy... egg!... wanna game of cards mate?"

the fried egg continues, but shouts back... "ide love to guys, but im going to get my hair cut"
.


:lol1: :lol1: :lol1:

what have you got in store for friday night...the mind boggles

nik
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Nancy Wannous

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:03 am

One person said once ( boys Grow up )
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Robert Lambie

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:05 am

little boy walks into a grocer shop...

can i have a loaf please mister?

shopkeeper replies... pan or plain son?

boy snaps back... listen... dont mess me aboot mister, my house is on fire!
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Nicola McIntosh

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:07 am

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

nik
<<

Nancy Wannous

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:10 am

is that the side effect of being in signage all of you guys don't make any sense. :yes1:
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Robert Lambie

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:11 am

how do you hide an elephant in a smarty tube?

paint its toe nails different colours.
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John Singh

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Post Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:12 am

Boy sent by mum to the greengrocers to get an extra heavy load of potatoes for the weekend feast

Boy: 'Can I have 25lb of reds mate?'
Greengrocer: 'Will you take King Edwards?'
Boy: ' Na! Let 'im get um himself'
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Andy Picton

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 5:29 pm

I've been telling this joke for best part of 20 years now and it never fails, sorry, works:

Q. What is the difference between a duck?

A. One of it's legs is both the same.

makes more sense when you've had a skin-full

It'll be Chrismus dreckly

Andy
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George Elsmore

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 5:41 pm

woosh!
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Marekdlux

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 5:44 pm

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "Dam!"
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George Elsmore

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 5:46 pm

2 parrots sat on a perch one said to the other can you smell fish!
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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 5:48 pm

What do you call a guy with a spade in his head?


Doug

Or... 2 parrots sat on a perch

one says.. can you smell fish?
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Dave Bruce

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:02 pm

Please this is a sign forum, keep to the subject.

What do you call a sign with only one letter on it? :lol1: :lol1:


oh my goodness :lol1: :lol1:

I can't speak for :lol1: :lol1:

the tears in my eyes :lol1: :lol1:

stop before I fall over :lol1: :lol1:
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Marcella Ross

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:31 pm

dare we ask Dave ..........?
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Adrian Howard

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:13 pm

Tried to drown my sorrows last night......

But the wife wouldnt come swimming.............. :oops:
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Carrie Brown

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:39 pm

What do you call a train loaded with toffee????
.
.
A Chew Chew Train :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1:



What do you call a horse in pyjamas???
.
.
AZebra!!!!! :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1:



What do you call a chicken in a shell suit???
.
.
An Egg :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1:

:P
<<

Robert Lambie

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:47 pm

1st one:


doctor: i have good news and bad...

patiant: give me bad.

doctor... we have to cut your legs off

patiant: :o so whats the good news?

doctor: the guy in the next bed wants to buy your slippers





2nd one:





doctor: i have good news and bad...

patiant: give me bad.

doctor... we have cut the Wrong Leg off sir :-?


patiant: :o F3ck me.... so whats the good news?


doctor: the other one is getting better.




.
<<

Russ

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Post Tue Dec 13, 2005 8:02 pm

Who got the avon lady pregnant,

























MAX FACTOR
<<

George Elsmore

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Post Wed Dec 14, 2005 9:20 am

heard about the magic tractor that went down the lane and turned into a field!!!! .................................i'll get me coat
<<

Shane Drew

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Post Wed Dec 14, 2005 10:22 am

.... the man in a bar who was falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."

The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man.

The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"
<<

P R Hughes

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Post Fri Dec 16, 2005 6:33 pm

heard about the dyslexic guy who went to a TOGA party dressed as a GOAT

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